A Woman’s Lethal Weapon of SEX
Many women have been told since they were very young that recreational sex is bad. Even today, relationship experts such as, Steve Harvey declares that women should wait 90 days before having sex. This probationary period allows time for a man to prove if he is worthy or not of the “cookie”. These teachings have caused many women to think of sex as a weapon. To be used as a method to get what they want, instead of an act of pleasure. Some women even take it a step further and think if they put their best loving on a man, that he will fall in love with her.
So I thought about the question: does good sex make a man fall in love? I decided to carefully research what are the roots of men falling in love with women. I found that men fall in love with women, who they had common interest with, women they felt were trustworthy, women they felt needed by, and women they could show their vulnerabilities to. If these are the things that love are based upon, then how does sex play a role in falling in love?
It is simple learning theory, with sex being the reward for the man. People appreciate things more when they are randomly rewarded. If every time you see your sweetie and you are rewarding him with sex, he has nothing to look forward to. He already knows what to expect. This consequently, could cause him to loose interest and not want to take things further in the relationship. Especially if trust, communication, and mutual interest have not been established, yet. These are the seeds for true love and a healthy relationship.
So instead of making wild and crazy sex with your new boyfriend every time you see him. It is suggested that you withdraw it from him, every now and then. Make him wait and want it. Having these down periods allow for more time to plant the seeds of love: trust, communication, establishing mutual interest, making him feel needed and allowing him the opportunity to feel vulnerable. More importantly, he will start to feel as if he is working for the reward.
Now back to my original question does good sex make a man fall in love? After researching and speaking with my male correspondents, “No! Good sex will not make him fall in love but it might make him want more sex. If there is nothing else but sex going on, he will not want anything more than sex”. You have to bake a cake of love first and then icing the cake with mind-blowing sex, to get true love. Some men even say that sex is not that important to them. Nonetheless, if you are really crafty, open and honest (and so is your man) you might be able to have great sex and plant the seeds of love at the same time. However, it is difficult; which is the reason behind the old age theory of waiting to have sex.
In conclusion, I am not suggesting how long a woman should wait to have sex or when they should have sex. I am just explaining the psychology behind it. I am a firm believer of doing what you feel is right. Do not let society dictate to you what is “lady like” or “un-lady like” behaviors. If things are meant to be they will be. Instead of trying to manipulate people in to loving you. Love yourself and treat people the way you want to be treated. If you need help understanding your sexuality contact Cupid’s Planner and don’t forget to like us on Facebook.
*(This response is only addressing the beginning phase of new relationship and not long-term relationships)