Breaking Up with Your Ex’s Family — Yes or No?

I received this question the other day and I thought it was a perfect topic for my blogI thought this was a good question because it has been the topic of many discussions I have had with my girlfriends.

Do I have to break-up with my ex’s family, too?

No, I think it is okay to hang with your ex's family. However the situation can get tricky if there is not clear communication and boundaries. First I think it is important to examine the reasons for hanging with his family.  It is important to be honest with yourself, here. Are you hanging with his family purely for the enjoyment of their company or is there an underlying reason?  If you are hanging with his family with an unconscious agenda of hanging on to your relationship, then you should definitely take a step back from his family.  Because this could make the break up and the "getting over him" phase more difficult.

Once you have decided what are your motives for continuing the relationship with his family make sure you and your ex have an understanding.  Make sure he understands that just because you are still around does not mean you are in a relationship with him. This understanding will also have to extend to his family, as well.  Make sure they understand that you are not in a relationship with him and that you are hanging with them because you enjoy their company.  Make sure they understand that you are single and that you are on the market. You could even ask them how would they feel if you started to date someone else.  You could also ask them how would your ex dating someone new affect your relationship with them.  This way you can get an idea of how your relationship with them might change if you get another boyfriend or vice versa.

I think it is important to follow your gut. Take time and listen to your intuition. If you start to feel uneasy about something, talk with them about it.  If hanging with them becomes too much, take a step back. Do not feel guilty for how you feel.  Own your feelings and stay honest.  

Also, since this could be a complicated situation, many people will have their opinions about what you should do. Most people cannot stay cordial with their ex, let alone maintain a relationship with their ex's family.  So do not let anyone influence how you treat his family.  I think it is hard to find people that you get along with, let alone people you enjoy hanging with; so when I find people I vibe with I try to keep them.  Remember that situations can change so check in with yourself to make sure you are okay with how things are going. This could be a tricky situation but with clear communication, boundaries and understanding it could work.

The situation gets even trickier when children are involved.  So just make sure whatever relationship you have with your ex and his family is consistent, predictable and loving.  If you are having trouble navigating the field of love contact Cupid’s Planner. We can help you find basic solutions to everyday problems.  Also don’t forget to like us on Facebook.