One day as I sit in the house because Jack Frost was nipping at my nose, I decided to call one of my good friends back in Los Angeles. We chatted about normal things work, family and men. Since I just moved back to the east coast, the dating scene was a little slow for me. Plus it was getting too cold and too windy to go out and meet people. It is hard to be cute and shivering at the same time. My friend replied “girl, you better find a cuddle buddy. Someone to keep you warm.” I just laughed.
However, I thought about this comment. Does Jack Frost push, us, women into the arms of men in the winter, just so we can stay warm? In 2010, there was a huge snowstorm. Shutting down Washington DC for about a week. While stuck in the house, I drank wine, watched movies and baked. I also followed a few friends on Facebook. There were post about children, cooking, husbands, and wives but there was one special post that I remember, “Home alone. Just me and the kids. Couldn’t find a cuddle buddy.”
I knew exactly what she was talking about, because I too was home alone. I also could not find a cuddle buddy. It was a bit disappointing, at first. However, when April and May came around many of my friends were pregnant, just gave birth or just broke up with their winter fling. I was relieved none of those were me. While some of those relationships were more than a fling, many only lasted until the spring flowers bloomed. I knew it was divine intervention that I did not find a cuddle buddy during the storm. So, while they were preparing for their bundle of joy or mending their broken hearts, I was preparing to start my masters program and to move to Los Angles. We spent our snowstorm differently.
As humans, we need intimacy with other humans to survive. In fact, the desire for human contact is sometimes stronger than the desire to receive basic nutritional needs. Receiving human intimacy, physical warmth, elicits feelings of trust, joy and emotional “warmth”—just a feel good sensation. This feel goodsensation, which we get from being in contact with other humans, points to what drives our craving for a cuddle buddy. While there is nothing wrong with this yearning, what is important, are the arms that this desire drives you to. And from my experience, more often than not, Jack Frost pushes us not into the arms of the person we need but into the arms of the most convenient person. Just so we can get that -- feel goodsensation.
So while I was not able to find a cuddle buddy for the storm, I did make a good friend of my neighbor. Who was also snowed in alone. She enjoyed wine, was hungry and was willing to let me experiment my new recipe on her. So I invited her over. I consequently, received the same feeling of warmth that I would have from a cuddle buddy; just in a different way. More importantly, I meet a very dear friend, which has lasted past the springtime.
So in the case you are stuck home alone in a snowstorm or are just bored in the house because it is too cold to go outside, instead of looking for a cuddle buddy, just look for a buddy. I encourage you to step out your comfort zone. Become friends with that girl who always speaks to you and seems nice enough. She probably is nice enough to be your friend. Invite her out and see. You can get the same warm sensations from an awesome conversation that you can from a cuddle.
If you are feeling like Jack Frost may be pushing you in the wrong direction and you need professional support. Please check out my website www.cupidsplanner.com. We can help you strategizes how to get through this winter drama free.