“I am in a new relationship, should I hold back in bed for fear of being judged as a freak? I really enjoy sex and I have the feeling that I might be more experienced than my current boyfriend. I really like him, so I want our first time to be magical. I would not want to mess it up by doing too much or giving him the wrong impression. I like sex but I am not a tramp.”
Here is the short and sweet answer to this question, DO YOU! If you are having sex you should be having orgasms too. More importantly, you should be doing it the way you want too and not feel forced into a box. If a man is intimidated by your skills in the bedroom then he is not the one for you.
He is mutually engaging in sex with you. So if he is going to judge you, then he should be judging himself too. Sex, with the proper person, is a time where you should be able to leave all your inhibitions at the door. It is a special opportunity where you can learn about your partner, have fun with them but also connect on a deeper level. I can guarantee you, if he does not have an orgasm you will hear about it. So why should you hold back or not get the big O.
I suggest finding a man who has a similar appetite to yours. I would never tell someone to leave a relationship because the lack of sex. Nevertheless, sex is an important part of most relationships and has been shown to keep relationships healthy. So either you are going to have sex your way or the scared the way.
Also, I would not concern myself with the labels of a “freak” or “hoe”. Those things are subjective and are based on one’s own personal beliefs and values. What I would concern myself with is treating your body with the dignity and respect you deserve. Owning who you are and surrounding yourself with people who accept you for who you are, is what is critical.
So go ahead and get your freak on. If you have to teach him a few things, then take him to school. Do not worry about what he is going to think. How you feel about yourself should not be based upon how anyone else feels about you. Not to mention, this is a new relationship so you both still have to learn and get acquainted to each other. Your sexual past is your past. You do not have to divulge your whole sexual history to him. Showing is always better than telling.
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