“I am in a new relationship, should I hold back in bed for fear of being judged as a freak? I really enjoy sex and I have the feeling that I might be more experienced than my current boyfriend. I really like him, so I want our first time to be magical. I would not want to mess it up by doing too much or giving him the wrong impression. I like sex but I am not a tramp.”
To freak or not the freak, that is the question. Perceptions and first impressions are everything; so when a woman is worried about being considered a “freak” by her new lover, such concerns are understandable. After all “freaks” are generally considered less inhibited with more bedroom savvy. Accompanying this common thought is that such bedroom flair has been acquired from sexual experience with a multitude of partners - a picture many women would like to avoid painting for their current beau.
In an effort to avoid this stigma, some women will tactfully approach the bedroom with coy. Using the ‘ole, “I don’t normally do this…” spiel, which never gets with the hoping of appearing less seasoned. Perhaps with the concern that by ‘displaying too much sexual skill early on in the relationship might prove to be “intimidating” or provide men with the “wrong” impression of them. Well, to that I say, “sometimes the ‘wrong’ impression is also the most accurate impression”.
So ladies, let’s take a brutally honest approach to this discussion, shall we?
Contrary to popular belief, a sexually talented and experienced woman is not intimidating to men. Nope. Not in the least. In fact, we love them, the strong sexually talented types. It’s the “bitches” and “hoes” we don’t like. *Gasp*. No need to clutch your granny’s pearls.
There are several vital distinctions, which should be made: there is strong and then there is unreasonable; there is sexually adventurous and then there is promiscuous. All of which is dictated by an individual man’s taste and standards. So please note that being a “freak” is not on that list of undesirables. It would bode some women well to understand this before resorting to terms like “intimidated” to describe men’s collective avoidance of women they deem unfit or undesirable.
A woman’s bedroom talents, whether acquired from one man or with many men, may elicit an initial side eye from a guy, but it’s not a deal breaker. In these times, men, in general, are hardly expecting virgin Olive Oil. Men know the deal and certainly are not complaining about the women they consider “freaks” or “freakish” in bed. So long as she is a Lady in the streets and a freak in only HIS sheets, he is A-Okay. In fact, men generally tend to speak enthusiastically about their relationships with women who are uninhibited in the bedroom. It is their mutual enthusiasm for sex, which make it a more exhilarating and enjoyable experience. Great eye opening sex is great for everyone. Right?
In the end, the only “good” sex is honest sex. If good sex is the objective then ladies put away the facade and honestly show your man exactly how much you REALLY enjoy sex. What can be more magical than allowing yourself to fully enjoy and be fully enjoyed by your significant other? There should be little room for anxiety about preconceptions, when passion runs unbridled and the desire to please as well as be pleased takes over. Attempting to subdue yourself in the bedroom will only cheat the both of you out of a more wonderful experience. So ladies, f*ck the games and go f*ck his brains…out.
Freaks up, hoes down.
A Special Thank You to Mr SoBo for collaborating. You can find Mr SoBo on OpinionatedMale.com, a blog where you can experience life, love and sex in the city through the eyes of men. Releasing fresh posts primarily focusing on urban romance, culture, lifestyle and entertainment as it relates to both men and women.
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