There are many challenges to being a single mother and one of them being the relationship between your children and your new boyfriend. So since this has been a topic of many conversations lately, I must ask should man also take in a woman’s children?
Well, my initial gut reaction to this is hell yeah. Mothers and children are package deals. If you do not want to deal with her children you do not want to deal with the woman. However, after thinking about the subject a little more, I think it depends on the situation.
So first let me lay down the assumptions. The first assumption is: this is a relationship that you plan to be in for the long term; 2. is the man and the woman are cohabitating with each other and 3. the children are not his.
Now, that we have these parameters let me explain why it depends. There are two types of children: the first are young children who depend on their parents for shelter, food and clothing. They are school aged and are unable to take care of themselves. An approximate age range is between 0-22 years old. Now, you may say “What? 22 years old?”, but yes I go all the way up to 22 year-old, because although a 22 years old is an legal adult, they still are school aged. Meaning they still heavily rely on their parents for guidance and for basic needs. They still need their parents help to pay for college and just to get by. It is not until after a child graduates college that a man should not be obligated to take in both the woman and her children. Grown people have grown opinions, which more than likely will cause a tremendous amount of friction in the household.
On the contrary, another might say, “ Those are not my kids. So why do I have to deal with them?” Well to that I say, a smart man recognizes that a sacrifice in one area brings happiness to other areas of his life. In other words, your woman will respect you more because you opened your arms and welcomed something, which is not only very important to her but she also loves dearly. It should only be natural for a man, who is planning a long-term relationship with his girlfriend, to not only want to spend time with her but also want to invest in her to make her happier and a better person, even if it is through her children.
However, I can understand a man not wanting to bring a woman and her 40 year-old son in his home or life. Just because you pacifier your child does not mean that anyone else is obligated to do so. If you are enabling a grown person from being self-sufficient it is no one else’s responsibility to help you do that.
Nevertheless, regardless of you having small children or older children, the relationship between your boyfriend and extended family is important. How much they are required to get along totally depends on you. While everyone does not need to be best friends, there does need to be a baseline of mutual respect. I have noticed life is easier when people get along regardless of their age.
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