It’s the phenomenon that has the world whispering. There is a 90% chance that if your peers have sex, you have seen a blog post or two floating around your Facebook or Twitter about squirting. So, why is it such a big topic and how come you have not done it yet?
If you engage in enough conversations with sexually active adults, you can be left with doubts about your sexual skill. Aunty Angel has everyone wanting to deep throat with fruit and now every woman is professing that they can squirt. On top of that, the myth busters of the world have been shouting to the hills that squirting is actually pee. So, which one is right? Which one is real? The answer is, all of them and none of them at the same time.
Sexual skill varies from person to person. Not every woman can stick ten inches of penis down their throats, just like not all men are toting anacondas in their pants. The problem with urban sex legends is that there are very few avenues to get the real facts. You may hear a friend say she asked her doctor about squirting and she was told it is urine. Is that really what the doctor said, though? The variables that create squirting require thought and sometimes planning. If you have to pee when you have sex – chances are that you will pee when you relax your muscles. That doesn’t mean that you cannot squirt. It means that whatever the gynecologist told your friend may be pertaining specifically to her; therefore, you will have to do some investigation of your own.
One thing that I have learned in my experience as a sex health coach is that people are scared to explore their sexual selves. Men and women alike; we are trained to keep our sex lives under wraps and not to discuss them with anyone else. It is very difficult to share experiences and ask questions without being judged or feeling ashamed. There are men in their social circles bragging about making women squirt because they see it in porn films. Women, in turn are in the bedroom trying to do these magical tricks to please men, who probably have not ever made a woman squirt. It sounds crazy, but there is a sad cycle of myths circulating the world because no one is taking the time to talk to their partners and understand what the heck their bodies are doing.
Let’s be real for a second – porn is fake. The actresses and actors are paid to make whatever their doing look enjoyable. Since we’ve gotten that fact out of the way – we should also know that they exaggerate a lot of actions for your viewing pleasure. No one is walking around pouring baby oil on your butt while you’re having sex, just like men don’t automatically get a rock hard erection as soon as music starts playing. Some of the films we see involving squirting actually involve urine. Since water works are taboo, most pornographic movies are not going to market pee (but there is porn for that). The woman will voluntarily hold their pee until the right moment and POW – she’s “squirting” all over the place. Now you’re in your bed trying to be the next Skin Diamond. Do not act like you have not tried to play a scene over four or five times before. Keep in mind that these are paid actors. Their job is to get you aroused for real life sex with your partner. Trying out new moves is awesome, but expecting to match their skill will leave you sore and disappointed. Remember that during your quest to squirt.
Okay, so finally to the real question – is squirting real? It is not a unicorn, and yes, there are women that can actually do it. Does it come out like a NYC fire hydrant in June? Probably not. Will your sheets be wet when and if it happens? Probably yes. At the end of the day – the goal in sex is not to have the most acrobatics or do the most tricks. The goal is to enjoy your partner and make it out in one piece. So, spend less time trying to live up to the hype and more time getting to know what makes you and your partner feel good. Take it from the sex lady, it’s not one size fits all. Enjoy sex for what it is worth and do not be afraid to explore what interests you about it. Be safe, and be smart.
Still want to try? Read Squirting 101…
A Special Thank You to:
Kimi LeVadge is a sexual health and wellness coach who is dedicated to educating the world on sex, sexuality, disease and prevention. She can be found twiddling her thumbs at her blog – VforVadge.com. She is available to answer your sex questions or just to chat; consider her the Mary Poppins of vagina. Contact@vforvadge.com and connect with her on social media via Facebook Instagram Twitter.