20 Day Challenge to Rediscover Yourself

Many of us get caught in a rut because we do not truly understand who we are at our core.  Cupid challenges you to rediscover who you are.  Every day, for 20 days, Cupid will post an assignment.  These assignments will help you get back in touch with your core and revitalize yourself.  You can take as long or a little time as you like on these assignments.  However, you should take at least 15 minutes on each assignment. That is, just 15 minutes per day, so you can start becoming your best you.


Day 1

Who are you?

Who are you? Do not just list the roles you take on through out the day. You are more then a doctor, a girlfriend, a student or a baseball player. Instead write down who you are at your core.  Answer these questions to help you with this.

           i.     What are your talents?

        ii.     What are your normal emotional responses?

       iii.     What are your weaknesses?

      iv.     What are your hobbies?

     v.     What are your likes and dislikes?

  vi.     Are you spiritual? If so how are you connected to your higher power?

Answer these questions and accept your answers.  Do not fight who you are. You cannot improve yourself, until you know exactly where you are starting.  So be honest when answering these questions.

Day 1: Part 2


o   What is your vision of yourself?

·      Think about what makes you uniquely you.

·      Think about your values. Make a list of your top five values. You can start with ten and then eliminate them

·      What is the one thing you want to accomplish before you die?

·      Think about the mark you want to leave on society?

·      Think about things which makes you happy and sad

o   Now can create a vision statement or a vision board full of pictures representing the self that you want to be. Use the questions above to help cultivate a clear statement/board that truly identifies the women you want to become.

Day 2

What Are Your Goals?

Now that you know who you are and where you want to go, lets focus on the goals to get your there. List both short-term goal (things which can be accomplished in a year) and long-term goals (things which take five years to accomplish).  Each goal should be a SMART goal. Make sure to keep in mind your vision when writing these goals.

S= specific

M= measurable




Day 3

Forgiveness Others

Forgiveness is impetrative for tapping into your gifts and intuition as well as releasing the pain from the past. Today we will work on forgiving the people who hurt us.  

Write the name(s) of the person(s) who hurt you on small sheet of paper.  Each person should have his or her own sheet of paper. After finishing this process take apiece paper and tear it up while saying “(name) you no longer have any power over me.  I forgive you for ____) Do this for each person.  Notice your feelings and feel the way you want.  If you need more time to process your feelings write in your journal or talk to a trusted friend.  Remember you want to forgive the person not for their benefit but for yours.  You may not feel relief immediately but it will happen with time.  

Day 4

Forgive Self

Another important component to rediscovering yourself is learning to forgive your self.  Many of us beat ourselves up with “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve”.  However today instead of thinking those statements, you will tell your self “I forgive myself”.  It is important that we recognize that we are only human.  We can only do the best we can do, with the information we have at that time.  So forgive and embrace exactly who you are.


Day 5


Self-love is important because until you love yourself, you will not be able to love anyone else.  The first step to showing yourself love is to stop criticizing yourself.  As soon as you start to say something mean to yourself replace it with a positive statement.  Do not be too hard on yourself.  Recognize that no body is prefect but everyone is uniquely beautiful, including you.  So let your hair down and have fun.

Stop over thinking everything and do what you feel.

Day 6

The Company You Keep

Yes, the company you keep is very important to your wellbeing.  Everyone has energy; which can be positive or negative.  This energy can either encourage you or drain you.  So if you are feeling drained and life-less, stop hanging around people with a negative energy.   Some people are vampires and can only thrive off someone else’ s energy. 

More importantly, the people around you not only can influence what you do but also reflect who you are.  Instead hang with people who can add value to your life. Hang with people who challenge you to be a better person.

Take an inventory of the people who are surrounding you. Note the people you spend much of your time with and then note how do you feel when with them.  Also note what happens when you are around him or her.  You will start to notice a pattern.  Once you notice a pattern, decide if this person is beneficial to you.  If this person is not healthy to be around then decide how you will scale back your relationship with them. You do not have to leave the person completely alone but spend less time with them.  The next step is to think about how to meet people or spend more time with people who add value to your life and challenge you to be better.  This is an important step to rediscovering yourself.

Day 7

Step Out Your Comfort Zone

One cannot truly say they tapped into their full potential, until they have stepped out of their comfort zone.  This means doing something different then what you already have done.  We often trap ourselves and restrict our goals by sitting unnecessary boundaries.  This can leave us bored, feeling overwhelmed and with a loss of self-confidence.

The first step in stepping out of your comfort zone is not sitting any boundaries, at all -- dream big.  The second step is realizing you cannot control everything.  Enjoy the unknown and the possibilities it can bring.  Lastly but not least, is believe in yourself.  Know that you can do it. 

So today try something new. Step out of your comfort zone.  For lunch try something new.   No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, instead try a cold cut.  Take a different route home.  Part your hair on a different side. Small steps can lead to big changes.

Day 8


It is important to listen to your inner voice.  As women we have the gift of intuition.  Many times we get caught in a jam for not listening to it.  So today, take 15 minutes and listen to your inner voice.  Meditate.  Do not put any pressure on yourself to meditate a certain way but instead meditate the way that works best for you.  If you need ideas for meditation check out Cupid’s meditation video.

Day 9

Read About Someone Who Inspires You

We all have goals and aspirations.  So read about people who have obtained the goals you want.  Vicariously learn from their story, so your dreams can come alive.

Day 10

Show Kindness To Someone For No Reason At All

The greatest gift is the ability to give to someone else.  So today show someone a random act of kindness.  It can be big or small.  A few examples of how you can help people are:

a.     Buy lunch for a homeless person

b.     Listen to a friend who is in trouble

c.      Visit a sick friend or family member

d.     Tell a police officer, fireman, or service member thank you

e.     Donate a toy or book to child care center

Day 11

Do something you like.  It is important that we not only do what we have to do, but also do things we enjoy doing.   So today, take time and do one thing that you enjoy doing.  I suggest that at least once a week you do something you enjoy doing.  This will increase you happiness and your confidence.

Day 11

Learn Something New

Learning something new, not only stimulates your brain but it also rejuvenates you.  It puts more tools in your toolbox; therefore making you a more efficient and effective person.  So learn something new.  Learn another language, how to draw, how to sew, how to fix your kitchen sink or to bake that fabulous cheesecake, you like from the bakery down the street.  

Day 12


It is not only important to get your mind right but it is also important to get your body right.  So go for a walk today and notice the beauty of nature.  If it is too cold to go for a walk, dance to your favorite songs.  Get active!  An active body is linked to reducing stress, increasing happiness and a healthier life.

Day 13

Cognitive Restructuring

Do not allow yourself to pull yourself down.  Stay positive.  Often times, we are our own worse critic.  This criticism is normally unfair and harsh.  So today as soon as you say something negative to yourself replace it with something positive.  Do not allow your negative thinking to get away of your positive progress.

Day 14

Show Someone Who Has Helped You Gratitude

In modern day society the concept of the self-made woman or man is abundant. However, if we really take the time to think, we will find that many people have helped us in small or big ways, along our journey.  So today let someone know who has helped you that you appreciate him or her.  Send them a text, an email or better yet pick up the phone and tell them “thank you for ___”.  They will appreciate your gratitude and you will feel good from showing your appreciation.  

Day 15

Get Organized

You can only make room for new things in your life if you get rid of your old stuff. So today organize your paper work and establish a calendar.  Organization allows you to produce better work, find things easier and allows for more creative thinking.

Day 16

Create A Budget

In this economic down turn, it is important to have a grip on your finances. Having an understanding of your finances allows you to improve them.   The first step to creating a budget is writing down everything you spend.  Next put each expense in a category, such as housing, entertainment, food and etc.  Continue to do this for a few months and then determine areas you can cut cost and add savings.  Being financially healthy allows you to have more freedom in other areas of your life.

Day 17

Pamper Yourself

Today take time pamper yourself.  Put on something special just for you.  Looking good is not just for your audience it is also for yourself. 

Day 18

Just Dance

Put on your favorite tunes and just dance -- everything will be okay. “Life is not about surviving the storm but it is about learning to dance in the rain”~ unknown

Day 19

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves why are we so special.  So today write ten things that you like about yourself.  I am sure there are plenty more things that are awesome about you.  So if you want to write more than ten things keep on writing.

Day 20


Life has it ups and downs.  Through it all we most remember to preserve.  To keep striving for what it is we want out of life.  So do not forget to breath. Inhaling all of what the world has to offer and exhaling all the tensions and stress of the day.  Breath.