When a Woman Hates

    It has happen to every woman, I know, and it probably has happen more than once, dirty looks from other women.  Women hating on each other is not a new phenomena.  However, it has been taken to new heights with so many women taking over higher positions in the workforce.  This mean girls’ mentality is now affecting unsuspecting women from moving up in the workforce. 

            This is especially true for women, who put a little extra TLC in their appearance.  For example, I just got a new haircut, brought a new suit and did an at home manicure/pedicure.  I did not spend tons of money on my haircut or my new suit.  In fact, I brought it off the clearance rack and used a coupon I found in the newspaper for my haircut.  So when I walked into the conference room, I thought the other women would smell my cheap fixing up.  Instead I got looked up and down. I felt the eyes of the women on me.  When I walked passed a group of women, I heard “humph”.  I turned around and said, “pardon me”, just in case I bumped into them; although, I knew I did not.  They replied with a fake grin.  For a moment, I thought it was me.  I thought I may have had a booger in my nose or you could tell my outfit was from last season.  However, I received numerous compliments from other women, mostly older, which did not perceive me as a threat.  After distinguishing the difference between the women who gave me dirty looks and those who complimented me.  I knew I was being hated on.

            It was sad.  I never try to out dress or compete with any of the other women.  I always work from a team perspective and my appearance has always been the last thing on my mind. So when I started to get hated on at work, I wondered what could I do to get along with the office’s mean girls.  I always believe it is better to try to make as many allies in the office as possible. Nevertheless, I do not plan to go out of my way or kiss anyone’s ass for any of those connections. 

              So I started to give the other ladies in the office compliments, when they wore something I liked or did a good job on a project.  I humbled myself.  I never bragged or discussed my material possessions.  The less information they had about me, the less they could hate on.  And I always used good manners.

            These strategies have worked to gain a few mean girl allies in the office.  However, it has not worked for them all.  For those that it has not worked on, I keep our conversations strictly about work.  It is a shame to me that I am sometimes judged as a snob, slut, hoe, bitch, or whatever other names women use to describe me.  Solely based upon how I look.  I do not consider myself especially fashionable, pretty or smart.  So it bewilders me that others do.  In fact, I probably spend no more than 30 minutes getting ready in the morning.  I am all about the natural and being low-maintenance.  

             So I came to the conclusion, I cannot change the minds of anyone who has prejudged me. T hey are functioning from their own insecurities.  Therefore, I have decided to just let the haters hate.  True beauty comes from within.  So a bad attitude will not make anyone like you or think that you are pretty.  If you need help with understanding social dilemmas contact Cupid’s Planner and do not forget to follow us on Twitter.