“I recently started dating this man. We have been on a few dates and I really enjoy his company. But lately he has been acting funny. When I asked him about it he said, “I am afraid to fall in love. You love me too real.” A course I have feelings for him since we talk everyday and hang out frequently. But I thought the feelings were mutual. What should I do?”
Now, my initial response was to run and not waste your time with anyone who is unsure of what they want out of a relationship. However, after talking to a few of my male correspondents, I have come to two possible explanations. The first is he is afraid of getting hurt. The second is he is running game. Now of course, no one really knows why he is saying this but him. Nevertheless, I still will clarify my two explanations.
1. He is afraid of getting hurt. Heartbreaks and aches is something experienced by both men and women. So he may have had his heart broken before and is not ready to take the risk of falling in love again.
2. He is running game. He could be trying to elicit some sort of sympathy from you in an effort to keep you around but not commit to you.
It is up to you to determine which one of these explanations is the reason behind his statement. Furthermore, I would like to caution you in doing this. Attempting to figure out why someone says something is exhausting and useless. We could come up with 50 reasons why he said what he did and they all could be wrong. So do not get into the business of mindreading because you will only drive yourself crazy.
Instead I recommend asking him to clarify what he means. You should clarify whether he is open to being in a committed relationship or not; so you can know where you stand. If he cannot provide you with a clear answer then more than likely he is running game. It is up to you to decide if you want to continue to involve yourself with him. You do not have to end your relationship but you should also not forget your status in his life. Becoming too hopeful or doing too much wishful thinking could get you hurt. Do not let “if only if” or “it could be” make you someone else’s doormat. You have to be in the moment and recognize what the relationship is now and not what “it could be”. Because “coulds” can result in your own heart ache and break.
So if you have a good time with him, continue to do so but keep your options open. More importantly, stay true to you wants and needs. If he is not meeting them or is not willing to meet your needs then it is time to move on. Do not feel guilty. You may have met the right person but at the wrong time.
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