Is it the Size of the Boat or the Motion in the Ocean?

Question: How important is sex in a relationship? Meaning if the other person has EVERYTHING else that makes you happy & they love you so much & would give you the world. Everything is right!!! Except they are a little less endowed than what you are use to.... Help!!

This is a common question and really it depends.  It depends on how important is sex to you in your relationship.  However, first I think it is important that I demystify common myths about penis sizes.  The average size of a man’s non-erect penis is 3.7 inches.  The average size of an erect penis is 5.1 inches.

Whoo, so that does not seem that big at all does it?  Especially, with so many men claiming to have 8 and 9 inchers.  But the truth is that most of those men are lying.  In fact a penis that long is very abnormal, almost Sci-Fi.  Not to mention that the average depth of a woman’s vagina is 3 - 4 inches, so a 9incher is a definitely a whooper.  Therefore, most penises meet the standard and can get the job done.

I think it is also important to mention that no culture, race or subgroup is more endowed than another.  I have heard many myths about black men having larger penis sizes than other cultures; however, this is not true.  Penis sizes are standardized across all races, cultures, and ethnicity.

Okay, now that I got the technical stuff out of the way, lets talk about how you could improve your sex life.

1.     Kegel exercises - do these exercises to tighten up your pelvic muscles. With practice you can tighten these muscle during sex to feel more contact with his penis. 

2.     Intense foreplay, the more blood flowing down there the bigger and stiffer his penis gets

3.      Toys, there are many toys on the market which come in varying sizes

4.     Change positions. The woman on the top and the man on the bottom, allows the clitoris to have direct contact with the man’s pelvic bone.  Stimulation to the clitoris is actually how most women experience an orgasm

5.     Increase friction.  Increasing friction allows you to feel his penis more. You can do this by using condoms with ridges and not using any lubrication

Hopefully utilizing a few of these tricks can improve your sex life.  In the chance that the tricks do not make a difference, then you should ask yourself a few questions before breaking the relationship off.

1.     “How important is sex to me?”

2.      “Am I happier with sex?”

3.     “What makes me happier, sex or him?”

4.      “How often do I need sex?”

5.      “How do I like to be pleased? By penetration, orally, and/or manually?”

6.     “Is it possible to have an alternative sex life? Swinging or open relationships are becoming more popular.  Many couples are exploring alternative relationships or as Will and Jada puts it “A grown folk’s relationship”.  You can’t knock it until you try it.  

Nevertheless, what is most important is your safety, your comfort level and what makes you happy.

If you need help communicating with your mate or embracing your sexual freedom, contact Cupid’s Planner. We specialize in the empowerment and sexual freedom of women.  Also do not forget to like us on Facebook and to follow us on Twitter.