Every time I talk to my grandfather, the conversation starts the same:
Pop: “Hey there, how you doing?”
Me: “I am well. Just working hard. How are you?”
Pop: “I am making it. Just working around the house.”
Me: “Oh, okay. Well, I hope you are staying out of trouble.” LOL
Pop: LOL“Yep. Yep, I am doing okay. You find a husband yet?”
Pop: “Well, what is wrong with you? You have been all around the world and you still haven’t found a husband?!”
Me: “No, I did not know I was supposed to be looking for one.”
Pop: “Yes, you need a husband, so someone can take care of you. I seen you, now, you shouldn’t have a problem. So, what’s wrong with you?”
Pop: “Well, I guess your father will take care of you.”
Me: “Naw, I take care of myself.”
Me: “Yep, it is not a problem.”
Pop: “O, you are one of those types of woman.”
Me: “I guess.” Ctfu
The dating game has changed since when my Pop was in it. He is 89 years old. So I had to explain to him how the dating game has changed.
Old School Dating: If a man likes you he courts you and asks you on a date. He treats you like a lady because he wants you to be his lady.
New School Dating: Men hint around they want to go on a date and never official ask you out but instead expect you to ask. Today men call you a gold digger if you have standards and want to be treated to the finer things in life.
Old School Dating: Once on a date the man pays because they are normally the moneymakers.
New School Dating: Once you finally make it on a date the bill comes and there is an awkward moment of silence. So the woman has to ask if he wants to split the check and if he does pay the full check, he expects something in return.
Old School Dating: Men and women wait until marriage or at the very least being in a committed relationship to have sex.
New School Dating: Men and women causally have sex. They might be in a committed relationship and they might not. Many of the times they are stuck in a fuzzy gray area of friends with benefits.
Old School Dating: A man helps a lady with a heavy bag because it is the gentlemen thing to do, not because he thinks she can’t do it.
New School Dating: A man goes to help a lady with her bag, she bites his head off for thinking she can’t carry her own bag; or vice versa, a man gets upset that a woman expects him to be a gentleman and carry her heavy bag, because he does not like being pushed into a gender role.
The dynamics of dating has changed and I am not sure if it is for the better or the worse. I tend to like some of the traditional old school dating tactics; while at the same time I enjoy the freedom of new school dating. I do not believe any one should be forced into stringent gender roles. Instead I believe women and men should be free from the social pressures and just be who they are. Nevertheless, I believe there should be a happy medium between the two. If you want to be treated as my king, I dam well better be treated as your queen.
Whatever, school of thought fits you best do not be ashamed or embarrassed by it. There are no rules for finding the one or falling in love; so throw them out. We should do what is respectable and feels good to ourselves. Focus on loving ourselves and being the best we can be. The right love will find us, as long as we are open to it.
If you need help understanding your dating dilemmas contact Cupid’s Planner to learn more about our relationship and intimacy coaching services. We specialize in the empowerment and sexual freedom of women.