Red Flags in Dating

It is always nice when you meet someone new.  It is like an adventure of discovering someone else and their compatibility with you.  However, in this starry moonlight phase of endless possibilities, it is important to see not only what you want to see, but also what is really happening.  So if you are having second thoughts about how much he is into you or if he seeing someone else here are a few red flags to watch out for:

Red Flag # 1:  He only calls you late at night.  Yes, if he is only calling you between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am, this is a sign that you are not in the girlfriend category but the bootycall category.  As my mother would say, “There is nothing open after midnight but legs.”  So if you want more than being a bootycall, you should stop those phone calls immediately.  Do not respond to them and only respond to him at a reasonable hour.  He will get the point.  If he is really interested in you, he will change his approach; if he is not, he will stop calling.  However, if he does change his approach do not forget his initial opinions of you and proceed carefully.

Red flag #2:  He tells you he is not interested in having a girlfriend.  This is not, “Oh I can change his mind.  He will eventually want to be in a relationship with me.”  This is real.  He is telling you up front that he does not want a relationship with you.  Believe him and no you cannot change his mind.  If you really want a relationship you should stick by your standards and let him go.

Red flag #3:  He is only available to see you during business hours or after work.  This is a red flag because the weekends are used for family and real friends.  A man who is taken does not need to explain where he is between 9 am and 5pm, because he should be at work.  Happy hours are also easily explained because co-workers go out to happy hour all the time. 

Red flag #4: He does not tell you much about himself.  In this digital era, people’s lives are more exposed than ever.  So if he is holding on to his personal information, he is hiding something.  Most importantly, he does not want you to find out more about him then what he tells you. 

On the other hand, do not expect a man to divulge his social security number and tell you about his most terrifying experience on a first date; however, if he cannot give you his real name or tell you common things like where he is from or where he lives he is hiding something.  Ask yourself how much do you really know about him.

Red flag #5:  Your gut tells you something is wrong.  This is the most important red flag.  Do not let your mind rationalize your relationship.  Your gut will not lie to you. So listen to it.  Do not make excuses but instead ask yourself,  “Why do I feel this way?”  Of course our past plays a role in how we develop new relationships, so it is important to recognize your own emotional baggage.  Nevertheless, when my gut has told me to take it slow and I went a little faster than it advised, I learned an important lesson – listen to my gut.  It has never done me wrong.

It is not my style to write rules to dating or to write a list of, if he does this then you should do that; instead, I encourage all women to follow their heart and to stay true to themselves.  There are no rules to love, but since love can be like a drug it is important to recognize when we are the only ones falling in love. 

If you need help understanding your dating dilemmas contact Cupid’s Planner, we specialize in the empowerment and sexual freedom of women.  Submit your relationship question today to see it featured in our upcoming post.  Also do not forget to like us on Facebook and to follow us on Twitter

You May Also Like: