Who Is Responsible in Love?

 Should A Man Be Responsible For Leading A Woman On Or Should A Woman Be In Control Of Her Emotions?

Lets take a look at this scenario: You have Kelli, she works as a nurse at a hospital.  She has had her share of hiccups in relationships.  She has pretty much given up on the notion of getting with someone and getting involved in a serious relationship.  Then on the other hand, you have Derek he also works at the same hospital as part of the maintenance crew.  He is recently divorced with a child.

Kelli comes to work and she sits in the lobby by the front entrance enjoying her green tea with lemon and a splash of honey. Derek comes by the lobby everyday on his lunch break and sees Kelli on her break.  As they catch eye contact he nods and says “Good Afternoon.”  She says, “Hello” with some trepidation as she does not want to let off that she is remotely interested in anyone much less him.  As the days go by passing in the lobby, Derek decides to start a conversation.

“Hello, how are you?”  Kelli, not expecting more than a head nod from him looks up: “Hi I am fine, and yourself?”  “I’m good. I’m Derek by the way and not on some creep life stuff but I couldn’t help but notice I see you here on my way to lunch, which department do you work?”So you want to know what department I work but not my name?…hmmm interesting.” She says.  He chuckles heartily “You know what, excuse my manners what IS your name?”  “I’m Kelli” as she starts to smile ever so slightly.

From there, they carry on a small conversation and it becomes status quo for the next few days until Derek asks her for her number and gets it.  Over the course of the next few days they take a nostalgic trip to the days of puppy love. Kelli, after years of failed dating and relationship voyages has finally become able to let her guard down and falls head over heels for Derek - the rest is history from there.

I wonder, if things go awry between the two whose fault is it?  Is it Derek’s fault for even taking the time out to introduce himself and to get to know her?  After all he was persistent but didn’t come off too strong.  Is it Kelli’s fault for loosening up and allowing herself to open up to the prospect of a potential suitor? I have always maintained that you cannot help whom you fall in love with. If the chemistry is there and things are clicking on all levels there is nothing you can do about it. I feel when entering the realm of dating if both parties are up front up with whom they are and what the intentions are then let the chips fall where they fall.

Now there are some cases, where a woman has not felt that type of love and attention in so long that she is quick to let herself become wide open and wear her emotions on her sleeve.   She starts doing things she’s not accustomed to doing, because she is so in love. Then when things fall apart she delves back into the world of bitterness towards men.  

There are also cases where both parties agree that things will be solely physical and once the sex becomes good expectations are increased and then things become less transparent. I had a friend who shared this piece with me a long time ago when you fall in love with someone anything they do can be very good or very bad. What do you think?

A Special Thank You to Our Guest Writer:


Cortonio is a blogger at the website opinionatedmale.com. You can reach him at Cortonio@opinionatedmale.com

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