Tips for how to Prioritize as a Mother?
If you have a conversation with a mother for any amount of time, eventually this one word will come up...Balance. How do I find balance? The question most parents consistently ask themselves on their journey throughout parenthood. Is it realistically possible to achieve balance or for generations have we been trying to achieve something that is difficult to do or be consistent with for a given amount of time. You are super mom! With all of the different hats you wear on a daily basis, whether you are an SAHM (stay at home mother), work outside of the home, a mother to multiple children, or a single mom the last thing you have time to do is to use your energy on something that may not be working for you.
"I want to totally kill it at being imbalanced!" said no mother ever. What would you say if I told you, you don't really want to be a perfectly balanced mother. All of these years I wanted to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, sister, friend, employee, writer, blogger, entrepreneur………and the list goes on and on and on! That is a lot of pressure! One day I had a conversation with myself (I can have conversations with myself! As long as I don’t answer!)
Me: "So you want to be balanced?"
Myself: "You want to do it all at one time and be well at each and every task.?"
Me: "In a perfect world."
Me: "Imbalance is what makes you who you are! Embrace it!"
You do not meet too many people who strive to be imbalanced. I have made a conscious decision to choose what I focus on at given times throughout my day or week. If I want to accomplish my goals or even enjoy something as simple as me time, it’s going to take focus and the type of attention that comes from imbalance. Here are three reasons you should be perfectly imbalanced Mother:
1. Multi-tasking is the enemy.
I used to think multitasking was a gift, especially when it came to parenting. I thought I could cook, help with homework, answer work emails, have a conversation with my husband, and watch tv all at the same time. That's not multi-tasking or balancing that's insanity! I only have one brain, one mouth, and a pair of eyes; therefore, to be effective I can only focus on doing one thing at a time in order to do that task well. You can continue to do all of those things at one time, and you will end up with burnt food, wrong homework, emails with errors, and an angry husband.
The imbalance makes us significant. While it would be great to balance everything at once, I'm the best version of myself when I focus, can give my full attention to what's a priority, and take care of myself. Being balanced is stressful and frustrating not only to me but the people around me.
2. Imbalance forces you to evaluate what’s important.
Balancing involves juggling. I do not want to have to juggle my family; I don’t want my kid hanging in the air waiting for me to catch them while I finish sending that one last work email. It is my goal to be so imbalanced that when I am at the office, I am working and focused on the task that is in front of me. As likewise when I’m at home enjoying a vacation or private time, my full attention is given to my family and myself and I am not distracted by work. The distracted part of me, is a part of me no one likes. Being imbalanced takes time, discipline, and a willingness to keep trying even if it means somethings don’t get done. As a working mother of two it is very important to me that my kids actually know me and I am present not only during the memorable big ticket moments, but also in those random times we spend in the evenings after school or during bath time in the morning. What is equally important is that I take care of myself so I can have what I need in order to pour into my family.
3. YOU will thank you.
I have learned over the years; everything in my life may not always be in balance. There are times when I experience high times in my career and feel like I am losing my grasp in parenting or vice versa. Trying to balance too many things have cost mothers more than we could ever imagine - our sanity. A major part of being a parent is learning how to delegate responsibilities to others and also knowing when to move on both in the workplace and at home. I can admit many times I have spent unnecessary time completing tasks I could have easily delegated to someone else and spending extra time picking up toys when I should have been playing with them or enjoying quiet time. Moments pass, and you cannot get them back. Allow certain areas to get off balanced and give priority to the areas that need it most.
This is not to say that I have to be a terrible employee in order to be a good mother, or I cannot be all of these things at the same time, but it does speak to the notion of knowing what my priorities are at different times. My work life and my home life probably won’t ever be equal. I love what I do and being a mother doesn’t take away from that, but my family comes first. It’s not about neglecting, but shifting your focus with intention.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself as you seek to be more imbalanced:
1.What does this season in my life require of me?
2. What should I be focused on?
3. What areas need me most?
4. Will my sacrifice of imbalance be worth it?
5. What can I do for myself more to ensure my peace or happiness?
A Special Thank You to Our Guest LaChaya D. Terry!
One Haute Mommi is a lifestyle blog inspiring moms one post at a time, to chase their kids and their biggest dreams too! One Haute Mommi was created by LaChaya D. Terry to change the face of motherhood from being limited to limitless. LaChaya is a full-time working wife and mother of two, who works professionally in non-profit marketing. With wide open eyes, a passion for creativity, and inspiring people, she accepted the challenge of changing the perception of motherhood.
Keep up with LaChaya at www.onehautemommi.com as she chases her kids and her biggest dreams too!