Easiest Way to Ride

The Beginner Guide to the Cowgirl Position


Question: “Cupid I can’t ride. I can’t… I don’t know what to do. I hate being on top.”


Riding can be intimidating for many women.  However, it does not require any special skill to do it correctly.  Before getting into the techniques of the cowgirl position, lets first discuss your feelings about it.  When you say you “hate” being on top, does that mean that you hate it, because you do not feel like you are good at it? Or does that mean you hate it, because you are not comfortable with the level of intimacy involved?  Again, it is important to remember that intimacy with your partner begins outside of the bedroom, with communication, understanding, and patience.  If you are truly interested in making the cowgirl position a frequent part of your sex life then you need to be able to communicate this desire to your partner.  Communication will open the doors of experimentation.  Moreover, being on top is no different than your standard missionary position, both require you to be face to face.  I once heard someone call the cowgirl and missionary position the “no fake zone,” because in these two positions you can truly gauge if your partner is enjoying it.  So first work on changing your attitude towards riding.  If you have the belief that you are not good at it or that you will not enjoy it – you will not. 

On another note, if you hate being on top because you do not have the skill, like with everything in life, this too can be learned.  You are already off to a good start by reading and learning about different sexual positions.  Knowledge is the beginning of a healthy sexual development.  And with most knowledge it is only as useful as it is applied.  So you will need to practice.  Practicing will allow you to determine if you like the cowgirl position and what works best for you.  Once you become more comfortable with experimenting, you can add different positions into your rotation.

Do you need a step-by-step guide? Well try this:

1.     Foreplay - time for foreplay will allow you time to get properly lubricated and add excitement about the upcoming action.  A slay trick is to have foreplay while both of you are laying facing each other.

2.     Roll him over - now that the excitement has built up and you are ready to go, roll him over on his back. 

3.     Kiss - now that he is lying on his back and you are on top of him, kiss him and gently play with his penis.  You can do this by rubbing his penis against your clitoris and vagina. The goal here is to keep him excited about this experience.

4.     Squatting position - look him straight in the eye and plant your feet firmly on the bed with your knees bent, as if you are squatting.  Gently take his penis and insert it into your vagina.

5.     The hard work is done now – it is in!  All you have to do is bounce.  The motion should occur with your legs.  Yes, this can be tiresome for your legs but it also allows him full penetration.  Also, you can place your hands on his chest, on your knees, on his forearms, or just have them hang by your side. Use your arms to help you maintain balance.

If you are having trouble bouncing place his hands on your hips.  This will be a natural indicator for him to help you and he will begin to bounce you.  If his hands are placed on your hips and he is bouncing you, there is not really too much for you to do after that, but enjoy the moment.

Riding does not require any special skill or knowledge.  It just requires you to adjust your attitude and to practice.  The most important thing with any sexual position is that you and your partner enjoy it.  If you are not enjoying this position – do not do it!  If he enjoys it and you do also – do it again.  As long as you two are enjoying it, it does not matter how it is done. 

Cupid’s Planner specializes in the empowerment and sexual freedom of women.  If you want to learn more about riding check out Get on Top for the Long Haul.  Also feel free to contact us to learn more about our intimacy and relationship coaching services.  You can find us on Twitter and Facebook.