So sometimes when I have a hard day, I think to myself what would Momma say or what would grandma do. I often have to remember that my grandmothers were a force of nature, so I have to tone down how I think they would respond. Nevertheless, even when I am not thinking about it, I do or say something my grandmothers would.Read More
Although, Mother’s Day was a week ago, I wanted to share with the world my love for my mother. My mother is a major part of who I am today. She loves me, supports me, encourages me and more importantly accepts me for who I am.
My mother has taught me to live life like a force of nature: to be bold, honest and unapologetic for being E.B.. Through my lowest times and highest times I know I have a fan, a cheerleader, on my side to dust me off and left me back up. I am thankful to have a mother, who not only knows how but also knows when to be a mom and a friend.
I know many may say this is what a mother is supposed to do; however, my mother’s love is a special kind of love. It is a love that sees deep down in my soul and can tell by the slightest facial expression when I am hurt, sad, happy or mad. It is a special type of love, which will never allow me to go missing for more than 8 hours at a time because she is always thinking about me. It is a special type of love, which forgives me even when I am a brat. It is a special type of love, that makes you think you are rich even when you are broke. It is a special type of love; which through many sacrifices never weakens but only grows stronger. It is a special type of love that surpasses your traditional role and my unconventional ways to allow us to meet at a mutual place of understanding and respect. It is a very special love, difficult to put in words. It is the love I feel only from my mother, that special type of love.
Thank You Ma, I love you for loving me so unconditionally and helping me become the woman I am today.
Question: My son dates nothing but non-black girls. He never brings home a black girl. He actually told me that he does not like black women and probably would never date a black woman. He thinks all black women are ghetto. What is his problem? I am a black woman and I am not ghetto.
I have done extensive research on interracial dating. What I have found is that there are two types of thinking, which influence how people date. The first group see race as the determining factor for how they can relate to others. The second determine if they can relate to people based upon hobbies and interest.
In fact, several of my male correspondents, specifically the ones I know date interracially, revealed how love has no color or race. They date women they are most happy and comfortable with. One even mentioned how he felt black women did not find him attractive, which is why he only dates girls from other cultures.
However, this does not seem to be the case with your son. It seems he uses the first school of thought, which is using race to determine his relatability to women. It appears that he has negatively stereotyped all black women and uses this stereotype to avoid dating these women. The problem is he will never know what he has in common with black women if he does not engage them.
It sounds like he has self-esteem issues around his own ethnicity. I suggest for you to discuss this with him. He cannot truly love someone else until he learns to love himself. Most importantly, he cannot group all black women as “ghetto” if he only knows women from his small town. He needs to get out and see that there are all types of black women.
Nevertheless, there is nothing you can do about who your son dates. Do not push him into dating someone you think is right for him. Instead let him decide because you do not want to push him away. However, if you just cannot let it go take your son out to visit different areas. This way he can see that black people can live in many different manners. You can challenge your son but it is most important that you support him.
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